Fuck My Life

Tomorrow's my parents anniversary.. The day to remeber the start of a new family, The start of a new begining of journey untold. But guess what, Nobody fucking's remember except for me. pfft.

Some time i wonder, what for? why do I eve have to bother giving a fuck on such a day, reminding both side of the parents and asking them to put down their difference and actually give a shit to both side wishing Hapy Anniversary Dear.

Fuck this Shit.. Why do i even care. I myself can barely last a conversation , and with my mum for 5 minutes, and while everyone else can talk for hours and hours long. Why? And what can i do this fix this?

Why is everyone so cold already? have love gone cold.. Christmas.. offt.. The family season of cele fucking celebration and exchanging gift.. one friend of mine actually bother to post christmas card to her family member. Me? I dont even know whether i will call them that morning..

The hell is going wrong with me.. It seem so weird, that everyone misses their family so much, and they could go on and on about how their parents teases each other, and how their parents first met. While me? My parents got married coz they accidently fuck, and had me.

FML.. really.. Family first. I will never be able to say that, not in this lifetime. what is it that gone so wrong? where is the love? I want it so bad.... I rather exchange wtv skils, friends, and potential in me, and be a fucking retard just so i can have the family warmth and love. I really want to taste it. But nah..

Cibai.. they say is fun, that im able to live by myself, being indepedant, and eat out all day long. trust me, right now, i just want to rely on my family so bad......

I cant begin to describe in words what I feel right now.

So many question in my head but yet, after every time i thought i searched the answer, it stills seem it doesn't fall into the picture. Not trying to brag but the fact people here just don't fucking get me. Or am i the one that don't get them. Whichever this place is just plain weird and all out place. However, is still a place to escape from the life in KL. this island is suppose to be a new start, well, it is. But people here are different, they seem to think differently. They adore problem in life. But yet, when they have it, they just complaint and hate their life.

Am i suppose to clean their mess? Is that a Christian way doing things.

Sigh.. nyway, those are crap. What true-ly bother me is actually this girl i like, she is close to exactly how i want her to be. A new start, someone i could turn on too. But dam, she is being after by so many guys. Why?

And damn, the vow of staying single.. is not making things easy. If i do not make any move, she will be gone, my one true friend. If i do, i break my vow.

FML. God why did you ship me here.