It has been awhile since i blog.. while, pretty much because nobody reads and obody cares..

Hows life? its fine, really, im very comfortable with it. Life is full of tense moment, stressed environment, asshole surrounding, a broken family. YEs, im comfortable it being sucky.

Im comfortable running away from it, I find security in escaping from prblem, in delaying messed.. Life from time from time.. Yes, with my mum that is never ever proud of me, being friends who stands out at least something and u have nothing in your hand, u barely past any of your papers. The fact i still can fake a smile everyday should be praise worthy..

I find myself very useless although i know i'm not (well because everyone tells me im not) because everyone seems to be good at something, and shit, im good for nothing. Im just a fucked up brat, that cries when he loses something, and only knows how to fucking demand for more when he wants it. Thats why God is awesome, He always provide, really He does. Reall, i find no other comfor than in HIm..

I really really love God. more than anything else, when life is all fucked up, and everything is upside down, He there, and He knows exactly wat to do.. Well, often is only i dowan to respond to His solution...... I know he's waiting for me, but i just cant seem to respond to His love. I cant forgive myself for the things i have done, i cant seems to let go of the grudge i have towards the one i hate.

FML.