cant u hear sincerity in my voice.

this post its gonna be long. So hit the exit button now, if u do not wish to go on. :D

3 weeks has past since my dad told us that he dont want to leave with us anymore and i guess everything is picking up themself. As much as we try to be strong, we knw it hurts. THe pain of being cheated by someone u love wil not healed in the blink of an eye but time heals. (like everybody says) i know i dun show thhe pain much, maybe i'm good at acting, but the truth is, its hurts.

Well, not really because of the fact the he leave. But it is the small little things u knw. THe way it huurts my mum just raise the anger and hatred towards him, the way my brother try to adapt to wats happening making me feel useless, the fact that i really cant cope with my studies at school really makes me feel useless and like a pos.

few days back, i blame myself, could i ake a difference in what happen? if i had talk to him and confront my dad before about this.. the question just runs in my head, why didnt i confront him when i found out he was bitching and fucking outside when the whole entire family is just burning and suffering and struggling thru life. Could i have change anything?

And this is just half of it. I realised too that i cant tolerate critisim and discrimmination. Honestly, people worked hard and came to where they are today. But yet, u have nt understand a single shit of what they been thru happily be a simon cowell and critize on their life. WTH? who give u the right huh? Shut your mouth and try to see whta realy going on. I mean, have u knw hw deep the scar u have cost and how many friendship, hw many ppl gave up on their dream bcoz of u.. Although this doesnt happen to me recently, but i seen this around too much. And seriously, shut the F@#K up. ( not meant to be rude, bt i guess if i wasnt rude, would you listen, since its your language rite)

found this song recently. And i really feel this song, u knw what im trying to say. hehe.

Just gonna stand there
And watch me burn
But that's alright
Because I like
The way it hurts
Just gonna stand there
And hear me cry
But that's alright
Because I love
The way you lie
I love the way you lie
I love the way you lie

I can't tell you what it really is
I can only tell you what it feels like
And right now there's a steel knife
In my windpipe
I can't breathe
But I still fight
While I can fight
As long as the wrong feels right
It's like I'm in flight
High of a love
Drunk from the hate
It's like I'm huffing paint
And I love it the more that I suffer
I sufficate
And right before im about to drown
She resuscitates me
She fucking hates me
And I love it
Wait
Where you going
I'm leaving you
No you ain't
Come back
We're running right back
Here we go again
It's so insane
Cause when it's going good
It's going great
I'm Superman
With the wind in his bag
She's Lois Lane
But when it's bad
It's awful
I feel so ashamed
I snap
Who's that dude
I don't even know his name
I laid hands on her
I'll never stoop so low again
I guess I don't know my own strength

Just gonna stand there
And watch me burn
But that's alright
Because I like
The way it hurts
Just gonna stand there
And hear me cry
But that's alright
Because I love
The way you lie
I love the way you lie
I love the way you lie

You ever love somebody so much
You can barely breathe
When you're with them
You meet
And neither one of you
Even know what hit 'em
Got that warm fuzzy feeling
Yeah them chills
Used to get 'em
Now you're getting fucking sick
Of looking at 'em
You swore you've never hit 'em
Never do nothing to hurt 'em
Now you're in each other's face
Spewing venom
And these words
When you spit 'em
You push
Pull each other's hair
Scratch, claw, bit 'em
Throw 'em down
Pin 'em
So lost in the moments
When you're in 'em
It's the rage that took over
It controls you both
So they say it's best
To go your separate ways
Guess that they don't know ya
Cause today
That was yesterday
Yesterday is over
It's a different day
Sound like broken records
Playin' over
But you promised her
Next time you'll show restraint
You don't get another chance
Life is no Nintendo game
But you lied again
Now you get to watch her leave
Out the window
Guess that's why they call it window pane

Just gonna stand there
And watch me burn
But that's alright
Because I like
The way it hurts
Just gonna stand there
And hear me cry
But that's alright
Because I love
The way you lie
I love the way you lie
I love the way you lie

Now I know we said things
Did things
That we didn't mean
And we fall back
Into the same patterns
Same routine
But your temper's just as bad
As mine is
You're the same as me
But when it comes to love
You're just as blinded
Baby please come back
It wasn't you
Baby it was me
Maybe our relationship
Isn't as crazy as it seems
Maybe that's what happens
When a tornado meets a volcano
All I know is
I love you too much
To walk away though
Come inside
Pick up your bags off the sidewalk
Don't you hear sincerity
In my voice when I talk
Told you this is my fault
Look me in the eyeball
Next time I'm pissed
I'll aim my fist
At the dry wall
Next time
There will be no next time
I apologize
Even though I know it's lies
I'm tired of the games
I just want her back
I know I'm a liar
If she ever tries to fucking leave again
I'mma tie her to the bed
And set the house on fire

Just gonna stand there
And watch me burn
But that's alright
Because I like
The way it hurts
Just gonna stand there
And hear me cry
But that's alright
Because I love
The way you lie
I love the way you lie
I love the way you lie



but 1 thing i know for sure is this.


when life gets tough, u know u are on the right track,

because u wil get stronger, better and

u wil learn to appreaciate life a little bit more once u get thru it. :D